Odd timing

I got nowhere express out my feelings and no one to talk to,so i probably just write it down here.

Life, how would you describe your life? 

For some people,they might say "it's hard " 

Yeah,life is a bitch . It never been easy. Not for me,not for you,not for everyone.

Some people might say "it's challenging" .Yeah. this sounds better. I mean life can be hard,but it depends on how you actually see it.

At some point in our lives,you might experience people trying to bring you down.

People who are discouraging.

People who are pulling down your esteem.

Those people who are NEGATIVE.

At other points in life,there would be rough patches

A certain period of life where everything seems to be in a mess and nothing is going smoothly.

This ,happened all the time in our lives. Consider as part of our lives

Everyone would experience this before.

The only difference is,the way that the thing is being handled.

They are certain people,who will choose to complain.

It's okay to complain sometimes,but some people they're just complaining everyday about everything.

Just because they can't take the pressure,so they release it out by complaining non-stop.

Awkward to say that i'm actually one of those,once.

But i realize there's a minor changes ,i don't know since when it all started,i don't really complain that much anymore.

I mean yes i still do,but i'm cutting down on it,doing this. Because it's annoying.

I treat myself an ice-cream or any desserts will do ,to stop myself from complaining,and it literally just makes me so much feel better after that. 

As i mentioned,rough patches.

Isn't it normal to have difficulties and challenges in life?

If life was nothing but a smooth ride,don't you think it's kinda boring?

Yeah,IT IS.

Challenges make us stronger.

We learnt and developed ,it's a part of growing.

Whenever i face some difficulties,i try comforting myself,it's just a homework

A homework to test my patience,my rationality.

Whenever i'd think of this way,i would take it as a challenge and i shall not fail it.Or else,i'm just failing myself.

So this lately,i don't know about you guys,but it's been a pretty tough month for me.

Owh,should say this 2 months.

Everything seems like ,it all messed up.

I got into car accident ,and it happened this evening when i'm on my back from work.

It's my fault,obviously.

I didn't fully focus when i was driving,and accidentally kissed that car's backside.

it's seriously my first time having such terrible car accident.but thank god i'm okay.

No physical injuries .

But that car,serious crash from the back.

I felt extremely guilty,and still feeling super guilty now!

And so many things happened ,but i don't wish to write everything down here

it would be super long post if i do that but

let's make it short and simple.

Everything didn't really go the way i wanted or i expected. Didn't went well.

It's really hard,and i had no idea what to do.

I quit studying in MMU,needless to explain the reason why.

So currently i'm working. I want to earn more money in order to make my dream come true.

That's the thing I realize.

There's a saying,if u wish upon the stars every night before you sleep ,for what u want ,it'll come true if u do that constantly.

I know it sounds pretty funny,but i actually did that .LOL . Don't judge me.

But,as time goes by,i realize if you don't work hard,no matter how hard you pray every night,god damn thing just won't come true.

Reality just gave me a tight slap,to wake me up.And so,i started to find a way how.

And the answer is simple,earn your own living. 

My dream ,current one is ...i wish to go U.S 

Yes,to United States.

But not really sure will it come true,so i'd work harder and earn more.Make my first move.

I don't want to share how hard i work.because everyone is working so hard for the same reason.
And that's why i have something left to spend now.And i have a life to sustain.

Whenever the salary is released, the first thing come into my mind is - my family.
I'd buy things especially for my parents or probably treat them a nice dinner.
I'm the youngest ,i know people might thought that i'm the most spoiled child . Can't give u a specific answer.
Because i crave to be super independent girl since i was a kid. I want and i have to.

Then the next i would think of probably will be the one i love.
I spent so much,freaking much just because i want to put that smile on.

My life does seem easy,not "glam" life style but it seems i could get whatever i want.
I don't get all these by flicking fingers ,i had my hard times ,i climbed my way up.
Because things i want in life,i need to archive it by work hard.
So hopefully, my dream will come true.


Life seems so hard for me this recent
Will it continue be like this?Gosh.
Argument non- stop
endless misunderstanding

I wish someone can be here for me,nothing.Just give me warm hug will do.
Well yeah,i'm hugging myself tonight.

But no matter how tough is the journey ,just remember life's a climb but the view is great.
Don't give up.
But I'm so tired....
I'm exhausted

I guess, i need some rest 

And asking myself, should i go on?or let go?