was using my Iphone5 front camera to take this picha,not bed eh.ney ney
(Ignore my grammer mistake thank you)
With my favorite songs from MMOTHS ( as i probably know that most of you don't know who is this,it's a DJ,i love his music,so inspiration and it is the first time i could listen to some music,i could feel my soul deep inside there)
Got some inspiration to blog about something about my life,recently.
My life has totally changed,since when?hmmm let me recall back.
Since last year?Since past few months?
Actually i can't really ensure when was it,because people do change ,tiny ...little by little
Until the day when you looked back all the memories,the path
then only when you're realize how fragile human is
I can't really specific about based on my changes,but i'm pretty much sure that
I'm no longer the small little girl.
Yes,celebrated my 21st birthday with family and friends
The reason why i choose to go Kuala Lumpur to have my birthday celebration
As if it could be the most memorable birthday celebration ever.
Unfortunately ,it wasn't.
It was the worst birthday i ever had,the exact same day.
Something just happened so unexpected .
Since i was a kid,in many ways ,i always felt that i'm a transparent to others.
I felt so inferior and unspecial.
I've always felt that way.
So it leads to when comes to my birthday ,i don't really had a real birthday celebration like having a GREAT party session,i just received the wishes from everyone and that's it.
I used to care how people think about me.
Seriously,it feels sucks.That you have to try and guess ,wondering what's on their mind.The worst feeling ever
And that is how i became a sensitive girl .
Because i'm the transparent,so it's like i need to put a lot more effort to get myself noticed.
But don't get me wrong,my parents treat me very well.very loving and caring.
And this is when,since childhood time
I feel nothing when it comes to my birthday , supposedly It should be a big day!
Wonderful,memorable,sweet,exciting,amazing,etc....whatever words could describe for birthday
But,i found out that,every single year, i celebrated it with my family.
We would have our simple dinner ,a small birthday cake with a birthday song.
I found out this is how i normally celebrate my birthday ,and after years and years
I'm already get used to it.
Birthday seems not really that exciting for me anymore.
Even there's few years,i could remember vividly
I count down my birthday ,alone myself in the kitchen
I took out one of the fererrocher chocolate,and put one candle on top of it
Sing birthday song for myself ,make a wish ,candle blowing ,opened up the chocolate and finish it.
My thought of that time was ,i think it is totally fine with me,it may sound weird for you guys but
this is it :)
I always being left out by others,it came worse when i was in secondary school life.
I always prefer EVEN number than ODD number
Because when it comes to odd number,they will be the partner and getting into pairs,i'm always the odd one out.
Or maybe,i'm too invincible (WAS)
which was why i feel comfort when there's the time i'm with my boyfriend (WAS)
At least,i'm having a partner :)
Am from a very strict family,i'm the youngest.
my brothers and sister are, so introvert and quite ,and i found out i could not let things continue like this.
I want a happy family so i be the clown .
Until now i'm 21,i'm still the clown.
I'm happy doing that,because i could see the changes.
at least,it bring happiness to my family :)
So in house.i'm a clown
With best friends,i'm the craziest
When i get back to my room...Oh my...It's finally the real me...
Take out my iphone or Ipod ,listening to some musics
Take out some books and read
You might surprised that,Stephanie is reading books?!
Yes :) don't know since when,i just feel like i need to change
When i no idea where to start from,i just start from the most basic one
I bought some english novel when i was in KL,my birthday :)
[[28/2,woke up early in the morning
Having brunch with mom and dad
After brunch,we went book store and i came across with some novels
Then i suddenly remember there's a friend of mine,very good in english
He told me once that his mom force him to study when he was a kid
but he fell in love with studying novels after few years later.
Well,i was thinking that...maybe i should give myself a try too...
Then after done shopping,went dinner with friend as well.
It was so damn simple but i love it.]]
Ah,not forgot to mention that i'm officially complete my diploma ,not to say graduate haha.
And so this is the stage that i'm wondering
which path should i choose?
working or further study?Well i think i will choose study.
After complete all my studies then only i be the full time workaholic .
NOW**
-Now i'm already 21,i don't need a partner , because i realize that there's no one you can really trust or rely one.So be independent.
-And now i finally know that some specific situation friendship is more important than relationship
Friends for life,but lover will break up someday,somehow.
-I'm no longer afraid of how people think about me,because my happiness based on doing the things i like.
-I'm no longer afraid of ODD numbers,because in life there are something are not only meant to be understood it,but to be accepted.
-And still,there are no excitement when comes to my birthday haha!But i personally love Christmas so much.
-Now i'm already get used to it with my life,i love doing things alone...
Watch movie alone,shopping alone,drive my car here and there alone.Most importantly is,stay in my room alone and rest.
most important is
-I gotta be strrong!!!!!!!
And i've list down that the things i wanna achieve.So everything starts from a planning.
Somehow i realize one thing,if i have RM5000 with me ,how would i plan to send that money?
If previously,i can 100% confirm that will buy those branded stuff
BUT NOW,i rather go for a long vacation,instead of LV.
Explore this beautiful world
Last but not least, i want to thanks those people who bought me present
Thank you guys so much,appreciate <3 p="">Althou my 21st birthday is not that amazing enough but
thanks to Albee my bestie ,damn she successfully shed my tears .
Went dinner together and suddenly came out with this 4 little small cakes.Awww how adorable <3 p="">Thank you <3 p="">You made my life more even colorful than ever.
Ok,so now here is some random photos.
*Work so hard to slim down my face man.*
*No kidding,my very first La Senza*
The early birthday celebration with family :)
That's all :)
Good night look LOL
P/S : my health problem is reaching red light already i guess
I can't breathe when i'm sleeping.
and my gastric became more even serious after food poisoning
FML
